Why are we afraid to say the word Mental Health? Why is it that as intelligent, confident young men we’ll passionately debate topics of politics, discrimination, and even war, yet we are so easily silenced by mentions of depression, self harm, or suicide? I think it’s because the problem seems far more real – far more personal – than any of us would like to admit.
Usually, we deal with problems in the following way. First, we’ll “take a side”, that is ground ourselves in the stance that we initially see as the best response or the best solution to that problem. Then, we’ll research other perspectives that might support or oppose our initial stance and, ultimately, by assessing a variety of viewpoints, we reach a conclusion that hopefully resolves or at least partially satisfies our original problem.
This process probably seems very natural to you; in fact, at the RGS, it’s exactly how we are taught to think. It’s this evaluative method of problem-solving that builds the intelligence and the confidence characteristic of a student at our school. However, what we so often fail to realise is that this rational approach will not work for emotional disorders surrounding mental health.
People experiencing depression will know all the logical responses, “rest and treatment will help”; they’ll have heard that “they have opportunities ahead of them” or that “their feelings are temporary”. They may know all of these things, but it’s their constant emotional suffering that won’t let them believe any of them.
What I’ve tried to demonstrate is that people suffering with mental health can’t think their way out of their problems and so we need to stop expecting them to. Problems surrounding mental health cannot be rationalised and we need to reach out for support to help each other.
In daily school life you will probably see me as the School Captain a rugby player or simply one of the twins in the Sixth Form. What you probably won’t see me as is as the student who feels the same pressure to achieve that you do, the teenager trying to navigate all the same social struggles you do, or the man who experiences the same reluctance to express emotion that you do. The fact is, regardless of how many captaincies, awards or grade 9s you might have, none of us are immune to stress, immune to anxiety and ultimately, none of us are immune to depression.
To address these things we have to be vulnerable, and I know how hard that is, but I also know you wouldn’t be at this school if you couldn’t do hard things.
The theme for this year’s Mental Health Awareness Week is action, and so I ask. Will you take the action to realise your emotional difficulties can’t be fixed alone with rational solutions? Take the action to be vulnerable, speak up about your own mental health and ensure others know they can speak to you about theirs? Take the action to challenge the expectations of society and stand against the pressurising stigma towards Men’s Mental health?
I believe that if we take all these actions as a society, we will then be willing to openly discuss mental health; we will then no longer be afraid to talk about depression, self harm, or suicide.
Kiki
School Captain